I’ve been told I wouldn’t succeed. I’ve been told I can’t do it. I’ve been told I’m not good enough.
And look where I am now.
I’ve been writing about self-care a lot lately, but one of the most important parts of self-care is believing in yourself. It’s not always easy to do. Trust me, I’m still working on it. But in the long run, it can make a huge difference in your well-being.
Awful comments like these aren’t uncommon to most people. In high school, kids are mean. (Or that’s what most say, it’s not an excuse.) The sad thing is, all of these didn’t come from kids my age. Some were adults. Some were people I looked up to.
When you are told something like this, it hurts. It creates self esteem issues, increases self deprecation, and most of all, makes you lose your belief in yourself.
I’m not saying that kids need to be told that they are the best of the best all of the time when they aren’t, but words like these crush hopes, and that’s not okay.
It still happens. I can’t stop it, and neither can you. The key is to make their words push you forward. Prove them wrong.
Yes, I know that isn’t easy to do. Believe me. To start, don’t believe them. I believed them at first. I lost my hopes. I didn’t think I could do it, but I never gave up.
And as it turns out, I can do it. After being in the real world for two years, I realized that I’m actually kind of special. Not all on my own, though. A huge part of realizing this was I now have people in my life who believe in me. The first time one of them told me I was special, I was taken aback. They said I’m brilliant. I’m amazing. I’m talented. And my favorite, I’m doing things right.
To beat comments like these, you need a support team in the world. The world isn’t always a nice place, although that’s been my wish on every fallen eyelash and fleeting shooting star for as long as I can remember. These people are your cheerleaders. Mine at school are my friends and my coworkers. Your support team will naturally encourage you. It’s not something you need to fish for.
On top of that, you need to remember a few things when your brain starts to attack:
1. Your mind can be an extremely convincing liar.
Once an idea is planted in your head, it’s hard to get rid of. Don’t believe everything you think. Heck, sometimes I think I could be a cupcake-but that won’t happen. Change how you react to self deprecating thoughts that go through your mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, they aren’t true, so don’t give so much power to the mean ones.
2. There is more right with you than wrong.
We like to focus on all the things that are wrong with us. We put our flaws under a microscope, and then we never take a step back to see all of the things that are great. You are more amazing than not. Don’t forget it.
3. Sometimes you need love the most when you think you deserve it the least.
It’s hard to accept love when you are upset. If I’m angry, embarrassed, or sick, I often push away people who try to help because I think I’m okay on my own and that I’m a burden if I need their help. FALSE. Love is what you need in these moments, so accept the help and care from others.
4. You’ve come this far. Don’t look back now.
You are not where you started. You are different, stronger, and better because of your journey. Don’t constantly strive to make everything perfect, just do your best. You’ve made progress, and that’s all that matters. Trying your hardest is an accomplishment in itself.
5. Self deprecating thoughts will not lead to love.
You can’t constantly be down on yourself and then one day wake up and love everything. Being mean to yourself won’t make you any more successful, in fact, it will hinder your progress. Love yourself as you are, you are enough.
While having someone there is crucial to blocking out all of the negative comments in your past, I know all of you haven’t found that yet.
So in case you don’t have that person, I’ll be them for you. Ready?
You are amazing. You are intelligent. You can do anything that you set your mind to. You are talented. You are perfect just the way you are. Never give up, and keep believing in yourself.
Love yourself. You can do this. Prove them wrong. And if you ever need a reminder of all of this-just let me know, and I’ll be your cheerleader.