When You Are Told You Aren’t Good Enough

March 18, 2016

I’ve been told I wouldn’t succeed. I’ve been told I can’t do it. I’ve been told I’m not good enough.

And look where I am now.

I’ve been writing about self-care a lot lately, but one of the most important parts of self-care is believing in yourself. It’s not always easy to do. Trust me, I’m still working on it. But in the long run, it can make a huge difference in your well-being.

Awful comments like these aren’t uncommon to most people. In high school, kids are mean. (Or that’s what most say, it’s not an excuse.) The sad thing is, all of these didn’t come from kids my age. Some were adults. Some were people I looked up to.

When you are told something like this, it hurts. It creates self esteem issues, increases self deprecation, and most of all, makes you lose your belief in yourself.

I’m not saying that kids need to be told that they are the best of the best all of the time when they aren’t, but words like these crush hopes, and that’s not okay.

It still happens. I can’t stop it, and neither can you. The key is to make their words push you forward. Prove them wrong.

Yes, I know that isn’t easy to do. Believe me. To start, don’t believe them. I believed them at first. I lost my hopes. I didn’t think I could do it, but I never gave up.

And as it turns out, I can do it. After being in the real world for two years, I realized that I’m actually kind of special. Not all on my own, though. A huge part of realizing this was I now have people in my life who believe in me. The first time one of them told me I was special, I was taken aback. They said I’m brilliant. I’m amazing. I’m talented. And my favorite, I’m doing things right.

To beat comments like these, you need a support team in the world. The world isn’t always a nice place, although that’s been my wish on every fallen eyelash and fleeting shooting star for as long as I can remember. These people are your cheerleaders. Mine at school are my friends and my coworkers. Your support team will naturally encourage you. It’s not something you need to fish for.

On top of that, you need to remember a few things when your brain starts to attack:

1. Your mind can be an extremely convincing liar.

Once an idea is planted in your head, it’s hard to get rid of. Don’t believe everything you think. Heck, sometimes I think I could be a cupcake-but that won’t happen. Change how you react to self deprecating thoughts that go through your mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, they aren’t true, so don’t give so much power to the mean ones.

2. There is more right with you than wrong.

We like to focus on all the things that are wrong with us. We put our flaws under a microscope, and then we never take a step back to see all of the things that are great. You are more amazing than not. Don’t forget it.

3. Sometimes you need love the most when you think you deserve it the least.

It’s hard to accept love when you are upset. If I’m angry, embarrassed, or sick, I often push away people who try to help because I think I’m okay on my own and that I’m a burden if I need their help. FALSE. Love is what you need in these moments, so accept the help and care from others.

4. You’ve come this far. Don’t look back now.

You are not where you started. You are different, stronger, and better because of your journey. Don’t constantly strive to make everything perfect, just do your best. You’ve made progress, and that’s all that matters. Trying your hardest is an accomplishment in itself.

5. Self deprecating thoughts will not lead to love.

You can’t constantly be down on yourself and then one day wake up and love everything. Being mean to yourself won’t make you any more successful, in fact, it will hinder your progress. Love yourself as you are, you are enough.

While having someone there is crucial to blocking out all of the negative comments in your past, I know all of you haven’t found that yet.

So in case you don’t have that person, I’ll be them for you. Ready?

You are amazing. You are intelligent. You can do anything that you set your mind to. You are talented. You are perfect just the way you are. Never give up, and keep believing in yourself.

Love yourself. You can do this. Prove them wrong. And if you ever need a reminder of all of this-just let me know, and I’ll be your cheerleader.

XOXO,

Defining Your Happiness

March 13, 2016

Happiness is a tricky subject. It’s a feeling that is the same for everyone, but we all have a very different definition of what makes us happy. I’ve been talking a lot about self care lately, and how to take care of yourself when you get too stressed, but I haven’t talked about finding your happiness.

What does it mean to you? Does it mean being successful? Does it mean having everything you want? Is it being around the people you love?

No matter what you define as happiness, we all run into points in our lives where happiness is harder to come by. You lose a job, have a bad day, or lose someone you love.

Life is not a happiness granting machine. Things in life get tough, money gets tight, relationships go off course, and everything piles up into a downward spiral.

It seems like a lot of people lately have been losing sight of their happiness. I know I did for a split second.

So in case you are in a similar boat, here’s what I do. I think of everything that makes me happy, and put it in a list. I decorate it so it isn’t awful to look at, and put it up somewhere I will see it frequently.

I know I’m not going to be happy all the time-that’s just not how life works. We all go through particularly rough patches. Doing this just helps to make my day a little better in the morning when I see the things that make me happy next to my mirror.

My happiness is Dani. It’s running. It’s creating. It’s taking photos and writing. And it’s being with people who make me happy. Those are my passions. Those are what I work towards everyday. They make me truly happy, so I make sure I have one of them in my life everyday.

So what does happiness mean to you? It’s okay if you are still on the search, or still adding to your list. I still find things that make me happy everyday-but a lot of them are things that wouldn’t be good to having in my life everyday. Cookies. Ice cream. Naps.

If you find something that makes you smile all the time, add it to your list. (Yes, this can include significant others:) But as long as these things make you happy, don’t lose them. It’s easy to lose sight of our happiness when we are stretching to reach another goal, but in the end you’ll miss out.

Happiness is hard. As a kid, happiness is easy to find, but it gets harder as we grow up. I for one will never stop trying to define my happiness, and you shouldn’t either.

XOXO,

How to Freshen Up Your Blog for Spring

March 10, 2016

With Spring quickly approaching, everyone is getting antsy to start spring cleaning. I LOVE to spring clean in real life, but cleaning up the blog is always something I try to ignore.

Luckily-I just cleaned up my blog in February, so I’m in the clear. For all of you guys that haven’t touched yours yet or are dreading spring cleaning, I thought I’d write down what I focused on that can help your site feel fresh without a full redesign.

How to Freshen Up Your Blog

1. Use a color scheme

Not feeling the lime green that you used when you started blogging years ago? Is pink no longer your favorite color? One of the most drastic ways to give your site a fresh look is to update your colors! Use this link to spark your scheme creativity! http://www.awwwards.com/trendy-web-color-palettes-and-material-design-color-schemes-tools.html

2. Check your bio

When we update our sites or as our blogs evolve, we often forget to go back and make sure our biography still matches our purpose. Even if your bio still matches, it can’t hurt to take a second look at it to see where you can make improvements to get more readers to explore your site.

3. Readjust your Sidebar

Sidebars can get too busy quickly, so make sure you are checking yours every now and then. Check the order of your widgets so the most useful ones are at the top for easy access. I have my bio linked at the top, and it’s important to have your search bar towards the top as well.

4. Content!

I used to always struggle to come up with content ideas. One of the best ways to freshen up your blog is to constantly push out great content. I have a document on my computer with all of my blog post ideas so that way I can just sit down and write, rather than trying to come up with an idea for 30 minutes first.

They key to making your blog relevant is to alter it as you grow. Right now, I’m working on going back and updating photos in old posts-mainly because I didn’t know what I was doing then, and I do now. It helps to keep my readers engaged and it brings them back for more!

Best of luck freshening up your blog! Let me know if you’ve altered your site,

I’d love to check out the finished product!

XOXO,

How to Survive the Mid Semester Slump

March 7, 2016

Halfway there, kids! For all of you college kids, we are at the halfway point in the semester. I’m currently on spring break, as are most of my peers-sorry UofM kids, you got to have yours early.

And while it’s awesome to be halfway done with the semester, most of us have reached our breaking point. The mid semester slump. It always happens. Every year. I’m fine up until right about now and then, whoops, I lose all of my motivation to do ANYTHING, let alone study.

And that’s when I typically curl up on my couch and watch Netflix in a completely dark apartment.

The problem is, if your grades are important to you at all, this is a poor decision. So how do you fix the mid semester slump?

Self-Care should be at the top of your list

I just wrote a post on the importance of self-care, but when your motivation is lacking, this is more important than ever! I use my planner to make sure I’m fitting in time for self-care, everything from dinners with friends in the dining hall, to workouts and showers. Need some ideas for things you can do to self-care? Checkout my post or sign up for my subscriber list to get access to a bigger list in my resource library!

Make Small Goals

I use post-it notes for this-you should see my desk at school. I’m pretty sure it’s more post-it notes than wood. Write down your goals and post them where you can see them everyday so you don’t forget. The daily reminder will help keep you accountable-especially if you have academic goals on your post-it!

Ditch things that aren’t Working

Note taking method failing? Study method stinking? Sleep schedule off? Change these before it’s too late! On the bright side, putting yourself in a new routine might be just what you need to propel you out of your mid semester slump.

Give yourself a Break

Give yourself a day, or half a day if you are really busy, to do whatever you want each week. Your brain needs a break. If you constantly run it on high 24/7, it will fail you. No wonder you are stuck in a slump. Giving yourself a day to do something that makes you happy-yes this includes napping-will “recharge your batteries” and you’ll be more efficient when you get back to work.

The mid semester slump is something that you just can’t avoid. The good news is that you can get out of it by focusing on the tips above. Just breathe, and you’ll be back to your productive self in no time.

XOXO,

Why Self-Care is Important

March 6, 2016

For me, self-care is something that often gets pushed aside. It’s only gotten worse in college. I often find myself saying things such as:

“I got three hours of sleep last night, but I finished my blog posts for next week.”

“I missed breakfast today because I wanted to get more of my freelance work done.”

and finally,

“I have to study, I don’t have time to worry about this (insert health, social problem, or feelings).”

And I know that doing this is actually worse than if I just deal with problems as they arise. Instead, I put them in tiny drawers in the back of my brain until they won’t shut anymore. It’s then that I realize I’ve been neglecting my self-care, but by then, it’s too late. Then, you just have to rest and let it all pass until you can breathe again.

Self-care isn’t just important for one part of your health. Self-care improves your overall health, including both physical and mental health. Self-care makes you more energetic. It produces positive feelings which in turn can improve your confidence and self esteem. It sets boundaries and teaches you to take time for yourself so you don’t overwork or get overwhelmed (I still haven’t learned how to do this).

Here are a few tips to get you started on a path of self-care:

Have a “you” date. Watch a movie, read a book, or do any hobby that you love that relaxes you.
Paint or write something. I have an art journal that I use often to get out emotions that get trapped in your chest-both good and bad. (I might do some posts about some of the pages at some point? If you’d like to see that, let me know in the comments below.)
Meditate.
TAKE A NAP. :)
Learn mindfulness.
Have a long bath or shower.
Do a “ten second tidy” of your living space. A cleaner space will automatically make you feel better.
Hug someone.
Go for a run or a walk. Heck, walk up the stairs a few time. Feel alive.
Do yoga.
Spend time with those you love.

On top of these great ideas, you could join The Sunflower Project! The Sunflower Project is a movement by Sara Laughed encouraging positivity, balance, and self-care in college. Through blog posts, a Facebook group, and Instagram challenges, we are hoping to spread happiness and healthy habits on college campuses, starting with you! I’m a part of this group too-so if you’d like to get to know me better, you should join!

The Sunflower Circle is where we are most social, and it’s a Facebook group so you can join too! Here are a few more details about the Sunflower Circle:

We are a Facebook group for college students seeking support and community in pursuing a healthier, happier lifestyle.
We have regular themed discussion threads that encourage self-reflection and a positive mindset.
The Sunflower Circle is a place to make friends, find community, and focus on your health and happiness in college!

Don’t have a Facebook or just prefer Instagram (ME!)? Join our #GrowGratitude challenge on Instagram! #GrowGratitude is a two-week Instagram challenge where we take a picture of something we are grateful for every day, using daily one-word prompts (such as favorite, colors, home). The photo below shows all of the prompts!

We’d love to see you partake in the challenge, and I’d love to meet some of you in our Facebook group! Let me know if you are one of my readers and we can chat!

Be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.

XOXO,

The Ultimate Blogger Network List + Influencer Networks too

March 5, 2016

Hey lovelies! I’ve been working on something super exciting for you guys the past few weeks and…

TODAY’S THE DAY. THE SUN IS SHINING. THE TANK IS CLEAN.

What have I been working on you might ask? The Ultimate Blogger Network List + Influencer Networks too! This list has all of the blogger networks I could find (minus ones that are fake-always do your research, folks!) and I put them all in a handy dandy PDF! (Blue’s Clues anyone?)

All of the networks in this PDF are clickable links to take you right to their websites! While I have compiled this list, I do not know how reputable some of these networks are, so do your own research before joining, and if it feels fishy, it probably is.

If you want this blogger network list, just sign up for my subscriber list at the bottom of the page! In your welcome email, you’ll get access to the Honestly Haley resource library where you get access to The Ultimate Blogger Network List, plus a whole bunch of other freebies. I update the resource library often, and you’ll get notified when I have new treats in there for you guys.

So what are you waiting for? :)

XOXO,

When You’ve Forgotten How to do This

March 4, 2016

It’s the middle of the semester. Everyone is tired, stressed, and tensions are running high. Even roommates are starting to get on each others nerves. Needless to say, everyone is ready to be done with the semester and we are only halfway there. We’re ready to go home, ready to sleep, and most importantly, ready to do anything but study.

In my own life, along with the usual stress, I had caffeine last week that flared my health issues and one of my favorite people at Loyola left to pursue a new job. This week was rough to say the least. As I write this, I’m currently on a train home for spring break, but my body still hasn’t realized that it can breathe yet.

Maybe it’s because today didn’t go as planned. Maybe it’s because I don’t feel great. Part of it has to be that I want to pretend like this week didn’t happen.

While I know all of our circumstances aren’t the same, I know many of you feel the same. This week I actually uttered the following phrases:

“Let’s quit school. I can live in my parents basement.”

“Group nap, anyone?”

“I’ve only eaten applesauce today…”

And you know what I really want to do? Curl up in my bed and hide from the world for a few days. What will I probably do? Go out with my camera, shoot photos in some of my favorite places, and blog.

Why? Because I know myself. I know that if I curl up in my bed, I won’t make myself feel any better. In fact, if the past can tell the future, it will make me feel way worse. I know that getting myself back into the swing of things is better for myself.

But I don’t know what’s best for you-do you need to curl up in your bed? Maybe. I really can’t be sure, only you know.

Either way I’m here to say that no matter how bleak your week gets, things will get better. It’s okay to be an emotional mess because your Orgo exam didn’t go as planned. It’s okay to take time for yourself, and it’s okay to not be okay all the time.

You are perfect the way you are. Take a deep breath and do something that will make you happy. Take baby steps to get back to where you were before exams, a breakup, or even the stomach flu.

It’s easy to let problems take over your mind instead of seeing all the good things that happened throughout your week. Yes, this week I had 4 midterms. My boss had her last day at work. I felt super sick all week.

But those things all cloud out the great stuff that happened: I turned 20. I spent time with my best friends. I was surrounded by people I love all week. I got to sing a little bit. And now I’m on a DOUBLE DECKER train.

I know this was kind of a long rant, but sometimes you need that, you know?

Hang in there, loves. You will be okay.

XOXO,

The Best College Bloggers

February 24, 2016

Hi lovelies! Since I love the blogosphere so much and love to read other blogs because everyone has a different perspective, I thought this would be as useful to you as it is to me! Check out the best college bloggers! I’ve included a blurb about each of them underneath them so you can pick your favorites as well! Want to keep a list of these handy forever? I’ve made a free printable that you can get by subscribing AND you get access to my full resource library (subscribe on the bar at the bottom of the window).

The Girl Who Does Everything

Alayna writes about her life in bible college; balancing her school work, 3 jobs, the blog, and her social life, as well as random musings that just happen to pop up in her daily life.

The Story of Raniedoberts, writings from a rock-obsessed rebel

She writes about her adventures in college, how she deals with homework, and focuses a lot on music. Cool!

Chase the Write Dream

Tori’s ultimate passion is to help college students and twentysomethings find their place in the world. So whether you are trying to figure out how to make good grades in college or get your adult life started on the right foot, there’s something here for you!

The Swirl Blog

Gabby and Hannah write about college lifestyle, plus a lot of baking posts as well!

The Southwestern Prepster

Mikkaela loves to blog about college lifestyle, plus her blog is the absolute cutest!

Texasweet Tea

Sarah’s blog has a header that is to die for, and she talks about college lifestyle, fashion, and greek life with a twist of southern charm.

Always, S

Savannah started this blog as she was going to college so you’ll read a lot of posts about overcoming obstacles, making friends, being on your own, and loving yourself. She also LOVES to travel, so you’ll see plenty of posts on adventures with a reasonable price tag.

Casey the College Celiac

This blog is all about college life as a gluten free celiac, including recipes, slices of life, tips, and product/restuarant reviews.

Sew Cute Style

Miranda posts on college style, greek life, tips on surviving school, and a whole series on her adventures abroad!

The Bella Insider

Sarah’s college lifestyle blog focuses on beauty, food, and her experiences as a design-loving engineering student! She specifically runs a series called “Sarah’s College Survival Guide” on how to prepare high school students for college.

Haute Table

Hayden talks about her adventures at the University of Texas at Austin, college fashion, and her day to day life.

No Repeats or Hesitations

Emily likes to focus on fashion/lifestyle posts with a college student budget in mind. She’s also in a sorority and is planning to feature Greek life apparel and recruitment outfits on her blog later this year!

Make sure you check out all of these girl’s blogs and give them some love in the comments!!

XOXO,

Why It’s Okay to be Emotional

February 23, 2016

I’m an emotional person. I love with my whole heart and care more than I should. Some people think it’s bad to be emotional, but I don’t agree.

Now, I don’t mean that it’s okay to go around yelling at everyone because you are angry, or cry all day because you are sad. I mean, it’s okay to show your emotions and feel them, rather than stuff them into tiny drawers in the back of your mind until they explode.

Which believe me, that’s messy and WAY worse than if you had just felt them at first.

In college it’s easy to push down emotions because you have a test the next day, or haven’t finished a paper. Heck, in your first year tons of kids pretend like they aren’t homesick and then the dining hall not having ice cream that day pushes them over the edge.

So here is why it is okay to be emotional, and why I think you should let yourself feel your emotions rather than brushing them aside.

1. When you are emotional, you know where you stand.

You know what you need. Like for me, if I’m sad or frustrated, I know what I can do to fix that-cook, take photos, or go run at the gym. If you push aside your feelings, you don’t do things to make you feel better and you continue to feel off. Knowing your emotional and mental limits is SO IMPORTANT, and it’s something that being emotional gives you as an advantage.

2. When you are emotional, you won’t explode one day.

Like I said, the dining hall not having ice cream might push you over the ledge someday. People bottle up feelings and explode all the time, but if you are emotional in your everyday life, there’s a good chance that won’t happen.

3. Making friends? No problem.

Being emotional helps you be empathetic to others when they are going through a rough time. This is a great skill when you are with a whole bunch of new people in college and someone is upset about something. Just being a shoulder to cry on will help you to connect with those around you.

4. Others emotions don’t make you feel weird.

Your significant other is crying? An emotional person can give them a hug and talk things through with them without feeling awkward. Major bonus points.

5. You get stuff done!

By letting your emotions show, you learn so much about the real world! You don’t get stuck on the first page of a paper because you are still trying to push down something that bothered you this morning. More importantly, you know how to talk to others, problem solve, and connect with them which makes group activities more productive and efficient.

6. You love often.

This is my favorite part about being an emotional being. Yes, loving means that sometimes you aren’t loved back. But when you are, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. You don’t play games when you just start dating, you don’t have to act “uninterested” to get them to ask you out. You just love. You wear it proudly and that’s something that we need more of in this world.

Love each other, guys.

XOXO,

Discovering ISO: A Complete Guide

February 21, 2016

ISO sounds scary at first, especially if you are new to photography. What do all of these numbers mean? Is turning it up or down bad? I always forget to change it!

These are some of the top comments I hear when either teaching people about ISO or helping them figure out what they are doing wrong. And I’m not going to lie, it’s SUPER TRICKY. For the longest time when I first started shooting in manual, I never even touched it. Which honestly is a HUGE issue. Have you ever tried to take the photo and it’s just too dark for you to capture it? It’s because you are using the wrong ISO.

Don’t have a DSLR but still want to improve your photography? Check that link out!

P.S. For my photo examples for this post…I decided to use a cupcake that I made for my birthday…so sorry if it makes you hungry!!!

So first, what is it?

To start, it’s the last of the three pillars of photography, the other two being aperture and shutter speed. If you are missing one, your photography is going to struggle to get off the ground and look like you want it to. In short, ISO is how sensitive your camera is to light. The lower the number, the less sensitive, the higher, the more sensitive you camera is to the light. When you increase the sensitivity, you can capture images in low light environments without having to use a flash. Using a higher sensitivity comes with a price, though, it adds grain to your pictures and makes them noisy.

The key is to always have the lowest ISO that you can while still exposing your photos correctly and capturing the image without it being blurry. On my Nikon, I typically stick to ISO 100 as much as possible, but as mentioned, that isn’t always possible.

When to Use a Low Sensitivity:

You should ALWAYS use the lowest ISO possible in order to try and keep the most detail and to have the best image quality. If it’s a low light situation, you’ll probably have to up your ISO to around 800, but if you can help it, don’t push it higher than that.

When to Increase ISO:

You should bump up your ISO anytime the shutter speed will be too slow for you to actually capture the image quickly. Often times, you need to boost it in order to keep an image from getting blurry. If you need a super fast image-such as a runner-you also might have to increase your ISO slightly, but probably not too high. On many of the newer DSLRs you can set it to Auto ISO and set a maximum to try and prevent mega grain.

And that’s about it. I mean, obviously I could talk about anything photography related for hours, so if you want to learn more, leave a comment on one of my photos on Instagram!

XOXO,